I have been toiling away.
My husband was off for two weeks, and it was a wonderful time. I enjoyed his company and our kids were definitely happy to have him home. The entire time he was home, I was dreading his return to work, because I knew they would have to play catch up. As I suspected, he is already projected to work the entire weekend.
Often, I think about our complementary roles as parents. I think we have a pretty good handle on the parenting thing, for the most part. Are we perfect? Nah. Do we give it 100%? Absolutely. One thing is for sure, there are differences. I suppose it may be kind of innate for a mother to be a tad more tender toward her babies. My husband is no tyrant, but he is definitely the more firm, no-nonsense parent, whereas I admittedly allow my kids to get away with a bit more. Another difference is how our time is spent in the household. Since Matt is away working so often, when he is home, they’re usually hot on his heels everywhere he goes, and he is happy to wrestle with the kids, watch movies with them, play outside with them, etc. My free time with them is often spent coaxing them to do chores, helping them complete their educational Bridge books, cleaning up, and making sure they’ve dressed themselves, brushed their teeth, taken meds, etc. Honestly, sometimes it’s a drag. I won’t lie. But just like he goes to work over forty hours a week even when he doesn’t want to, I do what I have to around the house even when I don’t want to.
I often hear women talking about mothers as though they’re more important than fathers. I’m going to go ahead and disagree with that. The proof is in the pudding–children don’t fare as well in single-mother homes, and if moms were all kids need, then that wouldn’t be the case, right? And as the product of a two-parent home myself, I can attest to the benefits of having a Dad and Mom who also operated in the same complementary manner as Matt and I do now. So although we differ in style, we both love our children just as much. If harm ever came their way, I have no doubt that just as I would Matt would sacrifice himself.
I am not content to have him gone so often. It is necessary for us to stay financially afloat, and I feel compelled to do something about that. I have also been working on accepting the fact that I probably won’t be able to ever again have a scheduled, routine job–I don’t know a field that would be flexible enough to accommodate this illness–so I will have to figure out a way to use my talents to bring in a little extra cash while not interfering with my responsibilities to my family.
The well-known Proverbs 31 woman is an inspiration for all Christian women. She is a model for us to follow. As I’ve pondered my next steps I’ve been reading and re-reading those Scriptures and have found fullness of meaning in these verses in particular:
“ She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.” (Verse 13)
“She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.“ (Verse 16)
“She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.“ (Verse 19)
“She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.“ (Verse 24)
“She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.” (Verse 27)
There are some Christians who claim that wives should not work outside of the home. But yet, this woman here was an entrepreneur. Now, we can make a couple of assumptions, and either one can be right–either she had the money from selling her goods to “consider a field, buy it, and plant a vineyard” or her husband fronted her the money. I’d like to think the former. This honorable woman rose early in the morning to care for her household and stayed up late at night working on the goods she sold. This is what I am trying to do–continue being a caring mother for my kids while not neglecting being a support to my husband, because I know his presence with our kids is just as important as mine.
With that being said, I am working toward a goal of having a finished manuscript by the end of August, and am I also working on a little side hustle–people have told me I make the best cheesecakes, so I am putting together a little cheesecake business. I’ve always loved cooking and baking, and have some ideas from my grandmothers that I want to use. I have about ten recipes. I named one after my mom, because the idea is based on her banana pudding recipe; another is named Emma after my maternal grandmother, because it is based on her sweet potato pie; a third is named after my paternal grandmother, Aggie, because it is adapted from her chocolate pie recipe. I am very excited by the possibility of doing things I love, possibly making a little money, and not having to leave my home.
Pray for me.