Or should I say, my brain runneth over…
I am finally working my way toward a decent routine that allows me a little bit of time each day to exercise and write. As my family is my first priority, I have come to accept that although I would love to be able to spend hours working out at Planet Fitness or joining a sports league, now is not the time (although eventually I would love to play softball again. Ball is life!). In the meantime I have been making the best of what is available to me.
YouTube is like the best thing ever. I tend to get bored doing the same workout every single day, so I have been finding different workouts on YouTube that enable me to switch it up every few days. Right now, I am enjoying scenic walking videos, also called “Virtual Treadmill Walk” videos. They give me the opportunity to place myself in another area of the country as I walk in my living room. For example, the one I just completed was over an hour long and allowed me to view scenery from the perspective of a walker in Australia. It was beautiful, and I actually felt like I was there. The individual that recorded the video has the sounds of the wind and waters and everything. I love it. I’ve also tried kickboxing…
So far my favorites are the walking videos and Pilates. I love that cramp/burn I get in my abdominals from Pilates. This stupid belly is going to be the death of me. I am noticeably losing weight but this disgusting pouch that at one point held three babies for ten months a piece is RELENTLESS. I hate it. BUT, my pants are fitting more loosely and my tops don’t hug my midsection quite as much, so I can tell I am getting results.
I’ve also curbed my eating. I’ve cut down on carbs. I haven’t cut them out completely, though, although I am doing more substituting than I ever have before. It hasn’t been easy. I love sandwiches and pasta! But in the morning I’ll eat eggs and a breakfast meat; for lunch a piece of baked fish, some sort of green veggie, usually broccoli, and a fruit; and then I’ll have a sensible meal for dinner and maybe a snack or two in between. My absolute food downfall is flipping cookies. I have no willpower when it comes to cookies! And it’s darn near impossible to eat one or two. I’ve been trying to avoid them altogether but I must admit, I haven’t had much luck with that.
My goal is to get back into my catsuit by my husband’s birthday. It’ll be a present for both of us.
So, there’s that. I have given up at least temporarily on finding out what is going on with my health. I know that makes no sense, but I am tired of the anxiety and depression that was suffocating me as I worried incessantly about what it might be, only to go to doctor after doctor and be told nothing. The entire process of chasing this diagnosis got to be very draining and I grew weary of it. I have devoted myself to research and have been taking some vitamins. Some days are still better than others, and I’m sure eventually I’ll be compelled to the doctor’s office again, but right now I have better things to do. Also, I already know that whatever I am diagnosed with, I will not resort to taking a bunch of meds that are going to do more harm than good anyway. I would probably refuse most of them unless they were absolutely necessary. So what am I really missing? IDK.
I’ve decided to focus on getting my manuscript finished, and the process of doing so is exciting. The ideas are just running forth from my brain like water from a river. I turn on some relaxing music or soothing sounds–the sound of rain usually puts me in a good place–have a good cup of coffee nearby, and pray to God to give me the words He wants me to write. And it happens, just that naturally. Here’s the thing. When I was younger, I was very sequential. I would write a chapter, then the next one, then the next one. I don’t know if it’s because of what is going on in my brain or if I have just evolved as a writer, but I can’t do that anymore. My writing style has become more piecemeal. I have a general idea as to the flow of the story–the beginning, middle, and the twist. But when my ideas come, the don’t come sequentially anymore, so although I have five completed chapters, sometimes an idea comes along for something that might not happen until the tenth chapter. I write it and leave it be.
But it’s good stuff though, and last time I visited a library I saw a place for my writing. A lot of the Christian fiction looked Little House on the Prairie-ish. I saw few pieces of fiction written by Black Christians, and I saw nothing that dealt with the provocative topics I’d like to cover–including this first work that deals with domestic violence in the Christian home.
And now I’m spent. Gotta rest while I can. The baby is teething and that means I’ve been having some interesting nights, to say the least.