I’m back in business!
I have Internet access in my home again. That means I can get back to this blog. I have a lot of catching up to do. I believe I left off in Joshua. The book only gets better.
I am still standing in the need of prayer from those who are willing regarding my problem with organizing my time. I am a person who needs a few moments to myself regularly, to read, to write, or just to do absolutely nothing. Before I had my family I was content to window shop alone for hours, go sit in the library or bookstore and pick up random books and read, or just drive around (before gas got to be too expensive and people didn’t drive like bats out of Hell. Now I cannot stand driving). Now, for obvious reasons, it is rare that I get the time to myself to even take a complete shower. Someone always needs something.
Admittedly, today I got a tad irritated. We got a washer and dryer and I made plans (I know, WHY did I even bother) to finally catch up on the mountains of laundry scattered about the house. I wanted to get the entire place cleaned up. My kids had other plans.
My son, who will be ten next month, is a walking human garbage disposal and requires a meal–not a snack–every ten flipping minutes. My four-year-old daughter usually plays with my son or can entertain herself for a short period of time, but today she decided she absolutely required my attention and needed my stamp of approval on everything she did–she came out of her room wearing a tiara. I complimented her on her beauty. She wrote some of her letters and presented them to me proudly. I told her good job. She made golden tickets like the ones from Willy Wonka and I had to find somewhere to put them. On and on and on. And my three-month-old daughter apparently is teething already, and was cranky and fought sleep harder than usual today.
I had been excited yesterday at the prospect of a free Saturday. Typically there is something going on at church that would have us out of the house in the morning. I couldn’t wait to get my house back in order. Instead I fed and changed Jayla; fixed breakfast for everybody; put a load of clothes in; cleaned up the kitchen; dealt with Jayla’s fussiness; transferred the clean load to the dryer; approved drawings and costumes; answered my son’s two thousand questions and prepared his seven hundred meals; fed my daughter; dealt with my baby again; etc. I was more than just a tad irritated by the time my husband woke up from his nap (he had worked last night). I don’t think I worked this hard when I worked outside the home. At least there I was guaranteed breaks and had the opportunity to clock out and leave.
Now, I understand this is the life of a mother and I am thankful for my family, believe me. But I am not, nor will I ever be, one of those fake sanctimommies that pretends that parenthood, and motherhood in particular, is all peaches and cream. Nope. Sometimes I don’t want to be bothered and today was one of them. I was happy when my husband woke up and we got out of the house. I have never liked being cooped up in the house all day, ever.
Well, it is now late and my brand new dryer has stopped heating. I am bummed. Now I have to go figure out why.