That is how I feel about Sunday worship services.
I will admit I started off the day in a relatively bad mood. Again, I had difficulty sleeping last night (the story of my life) so I was pretty grumpy when the alarm went off. Even worse, I had to hit the ground running because I had messed around and hit the snooze button two times too many. After hurriedly getting breakfast prepared, showering, dressing, getting kids dressed, hair combed, faces washed and teeth brushed, we sped our way to church. I was annoyed on the way there even because it seems as though we are always rushing, and I get there right before it’s time for me to teach Sunday school, when I would prefer to be there at least ten minutes prior to the class start time just to give myself a little breathing room.
So I have resolved to have myself and my family up thirty minutes EARLIER on Sundays than normal. I am tired of being late. Even though technically I am on time when I scramble in at 9:28, that to me is the same as being LATE. I often joke about the characteristics that I have that could possibly clash with my husband’s… our concept of time is definitely one of them. I try to be a timely person, and he struggles with that. I suppose this is what I get for telling God I wanted to work on my patience, LOL…
As frustrating as the time issue is, it does not to quench my desire only for my husband. No one can pay me enough to ever willingly go back to living the single life again. We are approaching three years of marriage at the end of this month and have been together for almost ten years. I thank God whenever I think of how we got this far. It is not easy to be married, but it is definitely easier as we grow up and grow in the Lord. It is amazing to me that we have come this far–I feel blessed because we started out absolutely WRONG (it’s no secret that we lived together and had kids first. I would not recommend anyone do it that way, ever) and made things right. When I was younger I never desired to get married, although I wanted male companionship on my own terms, but what would have been a worse status for me would have been to have a baby with one guy, break up with him, then end up with a baby by another. Not knocking anyone who has children by multiple mothers or fathers because each situation is different. I’m just saying I really did not want that for my life, but that could have happened because of the ungodly path I first chose.
A lot of people confide in me and tell me their desires. I have had some single women, in their late thirties and up, talk about how they would really like to be married. These are, overall, stand-up women who would make a very good wife for some man, and I am often confused as to how there hasn’t been a guy smart enough to marry them. I try to tell them to look to the Apostle Paul for encouragement. Paul was content to be a single man, because he knew that a wife and possibly children would be a bit of an obstacle to spreading the Gospel. That was not said in a negative fashion per se; Paul just understood that with a family, a stand-up man has responsibilities that cannot be put on the back burner–such as providing for said family. It is easier for a single man to commit himself wholly to serving the Lord than it is for a man with a family. The same can be said for a woman. Women in general already play important roles in the church. Single Christians can look to their status as an opportunity to fully immerse themselves in the Lord.
However, I know that most people, if not all, do not want to be alone. My advice to them is to stop looking for a man. Reason being is because whether we are aware of it or not, most women have an idea of what their ideal man will be like.
Fairy tales and romantic comedies, “chick flicks”, are not our friend.
I’ll admit to liking fairy tales as a little girl, but never getting too caught up in them. And most romantic comedies or chick flicks are absolutely absurd. I don’t care too much for many of them. The premise is typically the same and I find them to be kind of condescending in a sense. Some women get so caught up in this pursuit of the perfect man (see above images) who will act like one of the guys they see in the movies that they put the blinders on and look right past the man that God is trying to get them to notice. Now, I understand that everyone has preferences. For me, there were two things that I would NOT go for, ever in life. One, any guy I was going to date had to believe in God. Two, I could not be with anyone who smoked. (Mind you I am discussing my younger, less godly days, so I didn’t mind a guy who drank alcohol because I did myself).
In terms of looks and background, I had an idea of what type of guy I wanted. Six feet tall, muscular build, brown to dark skin. Someone who came from a background similar to my own. I thank God that he gave me the husband I NEEDED. My husband is about six feet tall but he is very light and has long hair, and our backgrounds have more differences than similarities. Back in the day I wouldn’t have been attracted to him. I would have overlooked him because he wasn’t my “type”. Now I realize he is exactly my type!
I’m not saying women and men shouldn’t have preferences, but sometimes we need to clear our minds. Someone who would make a great companion for us may be staring us in the face but if he falls short of one of the items on our checklist we rule him out. In my opinion that is why some of those women are single right now–they keep dismissing decent guys waiting on a perfect guy who meets all of their standards, and basically, doesn’t exist.
That is why I tell single women to stop looking and get to praying. Pray that God sends them the right man and remove their blinders so they can actually see him when God brings him to her. But if it is not meant for a person to marry, single people should never focus on their being single as though it is a negative. Single or married, our focus ought to always be on God and cultivating relationships with the people around us.
As irritated as I was earlier, now I am lonely with my husband at work. I really never thought I’d like anyone so much 🙂
Something always comes over me when I get to church. I cannot be in a bad mood there. As soon as i got inside the building and saw the smiling faces of some of my church members as they readied themselves for Sunday school, my bad mood began to dissipate. When I reached the classroom that is specifically for me and my Sunday school charges and saw that some of there were already there and waiting, the bad mood disappeared altogether.
There is something about being in God’s house in the presence of other Christians that brings me a great deal of joy. Not only that, but being used by God to teach his children is one of the most important jobs I could ever have, and I do it cheerfully. I enjoy being able to engage with the kids, and I enjoy feeling purposeful. Going to Sunday services gives me a chance to refresh after a long week, where my mind can easily be bogged down with everything other than God if I let it. Yes, Christians ought to spend quiet personal time with God every single day, but I’ll admit some days it is harder than others. I get so busy sometimes! But in church, it is all, and ONLY, about worshiping God.
It’s what he deserves.
Back to Exodus tomorrow.