I am going to be unusually brief today.
I wanted to make it a point to blog at all points in my Christian journey, the spiritual highs and lows. I want to be honest–there is no need to pretend that everything is always rosy in the Christian life, or that I do not get sad, frustrated and even depressed. As I have stated before, Christians are just like everyone else in that we experience the same emotions that everyone else experience. And right now, I am fighting a lot of negative feelings.
Every now and then it is not so easy to quickly spot the blessings when I am not feeling well. I have to do certain things like pray or write my feelings out to put things into perspective. For example, by the time I finish this blog post I am positive I will feel better, and I have my other remedies as well–prayer and music–to get my mood up.
But as for now the following have me in a bad place:
1. This whole Medical Leave thing was a total mistake. All I knew I was sick. But what I didn’t expect was being hounded about paperwork and a million different doctors’ appointments.
2. I am beginning to question if I need to switch doctors, and that is a frustrating consideration. I do not feel as though I am being listened to.
3. I find it more difficult each day to do something I have been accustomed to doing and that bothers me.
4. I am contemplating a career change in the midst of this FMLA paperwork fiasco that may leave me jobless. Now might be the time to consider something else. I am starting to think maybe healthcare administration is not where I need to be. It has not worked out well. I have not enjoyed the politics in many organizations and wonder if me and my husband can forge our own way.
Either way all of these issues and decisions are bothering me. I am simply asking for prayer from fellow prayer warriors that I remain strong.