Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

I am making my way out of a deep funk, and today is no better day to make a firm resolution to do better.

For this most blessed holiday, my thoughts are many and random. First, I am disturbed by the naysayers who claim that we really have no proof that this is Jesus’ birthday. My response? The same thing my pastor said during Sunday’s service–“All I know is, He was born!” And that gives me reason to rejoice and no longer be worried and upset to the detriment of my mental health.

The financial struggle has been getting to me. All my life I thought I was doing the right thing by going to school and getting my degree. Of course, there was no way I could possibly foreshadow the economy and only making $11.50 an hour after getting a Master’s degree. I was taught that an education was the best investment I could make in myself, and the right degree would put me on a path to comfort.

See, I am not one of those people who needs to be exceptionally prosperous. I would be perfectly fine in a reasonably sized, reasonably priced home in a good neighborhood, with my reasonable Chevrolet vehicle and reasonable Target wardrobe. However, my pursuit of the American Dream has ruined my prospects of ever achieving the American Dream.

In no way, shape or form am I denying I owe Sallie Mae the loans. I took them out, I fully plan to repay them. However, what I cannot do is pay them $1200 a month. Since I am unable to do this, I have been sending them what I can. Their “policy” is to still consider the payments late because it is not the full amount. They have resorted to calling me twenty times a day from multiple phone numbers. They have called my job and spoke to my supervisor. They called and threatened my mother, saying they “will find out where she works”.

I am done with the sleepless nights figuring out how to pay these people back. I will continue to pay them what I can but I have also began a campaign to have legal action taken against them. I am confused as to how they have been allowed to get away with so much for so long. A simple Google search turned up all kinds of results from consumers going through the exact same thing as me. These are young people who will never be able to see financial security. Can you imagine an economy where young workers cannot save money, make large purchases such as homes and cars? SMH.

 I am going to spend the next few days leading up to the New Year in deep prayer and study. I have allowed my financial burdens to get in the way of my blessings. Every day I have been getting angry at my barren refrigerator, small apartment, and even clothes but have yet to consider the fact that I and my family have continually had our health and strength and we have had our basic needs met every step of the way.

I have started a petition against Sallie Mae and contacted my Congressional representatives:

On this day and days forward, enjoy what is most important to you. Do your best and if your best isn’t good enough for someone, that is their loss. Do not let it take away from your joy. I have been depressed for several weeks over this Sallie Mae garbage. I won’t allow it any longer.

Bless this day, bless this day. The day we celebrate the birth of MY LORD AND SAVIOR. No, this is not a “holiday” season, or a “shopping season”. I am always confused when I see people of other religions (or none at all) “celebrating” Christmas. No one can deny that this season has always been based on the birth of Jesus Christ. Therefore no one who doesn’t believe in Him or accept Him should be celebrating this day. It is ridiculous.

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