What’s the point of getting married???????

I surprisingly had a few minutes alone today during which I perused a few websites, including AOL, which I only sporadically visit–their “reports” seem to revolve entirely too much around the likes of Kim Kardashian, which celebrity has been caught without make-up, celebrity bodies, and other trash. Occasionally, I will spot an article that catches my eye, and even if I miss them, one of my friends will send it my way.

This article here disgusted me almost as much as the one glorifying single parenthood:



I had heard of the website AshleyMadison.com several years ago, but paid little attention to it then. This website was created by Noel Biderman, a married man, and the point of it is to allow people looking to step outside of their marriage to find someone to “play” around with.According to this article, Noel and his wife Amanda have been “happily” married for 10 years as they have undoubtedly profited off of being party to adultery. How sickening.Noel says he believes cheating actually “saves” marriages.

I take it neither Noel or his wife are Christians. As a matter of fact, I wonder if they have any concept of morality at all.

In response to a question about how Amanda felt when her husband first approached her with the idea for this site, she says, and I quote:

Originally, I wanted to make sure it wasn’t an emotional or personal issue…an emotional or physical thing that he was grappling with. Once I understood that it was a sound business [idea], that there was a market he felt was under-serviced, I was totally behind him”.

So basically, as long as she was content that there was nothing wrong with THEIR marriage, she was okay with destroying others so as to satisfy the “market”–i.e., make some money. Gotcha.

Noel says one of the stupidest things I have ever heard:

“Monogamy is a man-made notion –- it’s not in our DNA. It’s not what we’re engineered for. We might think it’s a noble cause and something worth pursuing, but anything against our DNA is something we’re going to struggle with… I’ve seen study after study showing that the longer a couple is together, the more their sex life diminishes”.

Actually, monogamy is an institution of God, as in marriage. What kills me is the notion in today’s society that marriage is supposed to be a cake walk. The meshing of two lives is NEVER a neat and tidy task. This is why I encourage people to go to marriage counseling before they get married, and be honest about their expectations of their partner AND themselves within the relationship. I even encourage follow-up counseling sessions at certain “marks” within the marriage, such as the first year, fifth year, and perhaps ten year. And as soon as one partner identifies a deficiency within the relationship, he or she should approach his spouse IMMEDIATELY.

According to Noel,  if a couple’s sex life diminishes, that is grounds for an affair? Don’t get me wrong, sex is definitely an important part of a relationship. I have no problem saying that. But things happen in life–we get older, we get health problems that may interfere with our desire or ability to have sex, etc. But that does not mean we cannot still be INTIMATE with our partner, and nor is that an excuse to go out and bring someone else into the marriage. What the heck was the point of taking vows to someone if you intend on finding someone else? Might as well remain single.

Would this type of website been considered acceptable twenty or thirty years ago? Why is our society becoming such a cesspool? Mr. Biderman presents his website as though adultery is just another part of a regular marriage. According to the website itself, “Life is short. Have an affair”. There are allegedly over 18 million subscribers. The website “guarantees” that you will find a partner with whom to have an affair.

I guess this goes without saying, but people have been cheating for years and have not needed a website to do it. But back to my major point: There is a huge problem with marriage today. People are not taking it as seriously as they should. It is more than just “living together”. It is the process of two people becoming one, forging a bond that is unbreakable, intimately intertwining every single aspect of their lives. When it is done in an honest, open environment, it can be beautiful. Easy, NO. Beautiful, yes. There is nothing like finding that ONE person you can count on to always be there.

I am thinking now of my husband, hard at work for twelve and a half hours to support us. When he comes home, no doubt he is tired, but what does he do? Spends time with his family before he gets any rest, most days. I take pride in trying to take care of him as best as I can. He put his dreams to go to law school on hold for a job in a plant. He is not a complainer. He is my best friend. The thought of giving another man what is rightfully my husband’s just to satisfy my own selfish carnal needs makes me sick to my stomach.

These people ought to be ashamed, but I am sure they are not. SMH.




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